Getting your heart broken is one of the worst feelings in the world, and I’m not exaggerating when I say the pain is palpable.
You spend all this time caring for this person, staying up with them to talk, learning every little bit about them—they’ve essentially become a part of your daily life. This is the one person you don’t have to put your walls up to, your safest space. Then suddenly, the rug gets pulled from under you and you’re left with nothing but this giant void.
Alas, heartbreaks and breakups are part of being human. While it may put one off from falling in love again for some time, these experiences are big teachers.
From my first real heartbreak from not-so-long ago, I spent a lot of time ruminating and looking back at what I could have done better. It was my first relationship and honestly, there was a learning curve for me because I wasn’t surrounded by healthy relationships growing up and I’ve been so used to being alone that I didn’t know what it would be like to be a couple.
But these mistakes we make in our relationships are what teach us to strive to improve—how else can we know that what we were doing the wrong thing!
Let love bloom
The idea of love and all that comes with it might drive you to dive in head first, but don’t fall that easily. It’s best to be friends (good friends), first and foremost, with the person you’re dating. There’s a different level of comfort when you’re friends with your partner—you can really be your authentic self, without any pressure to impress and convince the person to like you.
When you’re surrounded with friends who are all in relationships, it’s easy to feel the FOMO and want to be in love like the rest of them. But if you rushing into things might not give you what you’re looking. As they say, a flame that burns twice as bright burns out quicker.
Love them the way they want you to
Two people can speak different love languages and still have a healthy relationship. The key is to put the work in, to compromise. Love doesn’t always require big gestures out of us and most of the times, it’s the little things we do and don’t do that make the bigger impact. Spend that extra time on a call with them or leave them a cute little note, whatever love language your SO speaks.
The third episode of HBO’s Last Of Us was one hell of a rollercoaster of emotions, capturing a beautiful love story between two men, Bill and Frank, in a post-apocalyptic world. In one of the final moments of the episode, Frank told his partner to “love me the way I want you to,” and that simple plea tug on my heartstrings. Don’t we all just want to be loved in the way we want?
#billandfrank: then love me the way i want you to.
[ tags: #TLOU #TheLastOfUs #TheLastOfUsHBO bill frank edit tlou the last of us hbo max nick offerman murray bartlett ] pic.twitter.com/9F7IoipZ0T
— sage 🍓 is watching tlou (@thorsbounty) February 6, 2023
It’s also better to avoid comparing relationships as the needs within it may not be the same. Don’t compare your sister’s relationship with her boyfriend or your mom and dad’s partnership to yours. Maybe just talking through chats everyday is fine with one couple, but your partner may prefer more than that.
Love and loving isn’t easy, contrary to what the songs, books, and movies say, and it’s definitely more than all those fuzzy feelings. Take each lesson you learn from it to heart, the good and the painful ones.
banner: @justdrawrin
