“I discovered it because a partner cheated on me and I knew about it.” – Drew
“It was a really big challenge to unlearn and relearn things.” – Albert
Coming from an innately religious and conservative country, there is so much stigma on relationships and sex that they are often considered to be taboo topics.
This is why it is all the more necessary to have conversations and dialogue under its umbrella, and that includes the Polyamorous relationship type.
We asked Albert, who identifies as a cisgender bisexual, and Drew, who identifies as non-binary, both of who have practiced polyamory to define it.
What is “polyamory” or a polyamorous relationship?
“By textbook definition, poly is multiple and amory is love,” said Albert. It is basically having multiple relationships.
Drew defined it as “when you are capable of having multiple loving relationships.” It is a relationship structure that more or less opposes monogamy, which is a dyadic relationship that involves only two individuals.
What’s a major misconception about polyamory?
“That it’s like an orgy?” said Albert. He shared that people mistake polyamorous relationships as purely about sex as that is how it is portrayed by the media.
“Contrary to common misconception, polyamorous people don’t have commitment issues”, said Drew. It is actually that they can commit to multiple people at once.
How does it work?
Albert experienced a “closed triangle” in his polyamorous relationship. By definition, a closed poly triad relationship involves only the three individuals in a relationship that commit to each other and have no outside partners.
In this relationship type, Albert said they tried to love each other fairly, while still maintaining their individuality.
How is it different from an open relationship?
“Open relationships are strictly sexual in nature“, Drew said. You can form emotional relationships and fall in love with your partners in polyamorous relationships.
Both monogamists and non-monogamists look and ask for the same things: consistency, communication, reliability, and respect.
Polyamory at first may seem difficult, especially in the Philippines where it is mainly monogamous. But according to the pair, there is always time to unlearn and relearn.