Parents, Your Children are Not Your Tokens to Your Dream Life


Time and time again, we hear our parents reminding us to do and be good in order to live a good life. Who doesn’t want to live a good and secure life? These constant reminders are to guide us in making the right choices, and when they come from a place of love, we in turn want to wholeheartedly give back to them as a reward for raising us.

Parents know their children since birth. They are the sole witness to their first words, the first number of steps we took, down to their hidden talents. Eventually, they provide the gift of education that opens numerous doors for them to pursue and become who they’re meant to be.

There’s totally nothing wrong with helping their children dream big. It becomes an issue when parents rely too much on their children to create dreams for them.

In case you missed it, Twitter was quick to praise Maine Mendoza on a clip of Eat Bulaga’s segment “Bawal Judgemental,” where Maine called out the message of a 24-year-old contestant on the show for hoping that her seven-year-old child would bring them out of poverty because they have the “determination of a youngster to make their family’s life better.”

Let’s face it: not all parents are privileged in this economy. There are parents who can afford to invest in their children while still being able to live comfortably and work on their personal goals. But there are also parents who struggle to make ends meet for themselves and their children, which brings them to the mindset of relying on their sons or daughters to provide them with a comfortable and stress-free life.

Until today, it’s a struggle to search for jobs that pay more than just the bills and purchase basic necessities—unemployment rates in the Philippines have risen to a high of 4.8% in January 2023. Though the inflation rate eased to 8.6% this February 2023 compared to January, fuel and food prices remain high.

But in spite of that, using children as a retirement plan is just, the wrong mindset to have—most especially for parents who are still young and capable. Parents should be reminded that dependence on children does not allow for growth on both sides. If children are capable of dreaming at such a young age, then parents, too, still have the time to create a better life for their whole family. This is not to invalidate those parents who continuously rely on their children for support, as long it comes from personal choice and a place of love—even at the age of independence—responsibilities like these should not be forced upon them.

It’s a good thing that millennials and Gen Z’s are becoming more aware of their parent’s role in their lives, as well as their future role as a parent if they plan on being one—as a child’s role is to craft their own destiny in life with the support of their parents. We earnestly hope this toxic mindset and cycle of dependency would end for the benefit of the next generations to come. Let children breathe, too.

banner by: @justdrawrin

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