As Queen Dua Lipa’s lyrics go “boys will be boys, but girls will be women”.
“Don’t tell your daughters how to dress, teach your sons to be respectful.”
It’s about time we stop excusing the boys’ behavior.
If you’ve been online recently, you would be aware that Slater Young, PBB: Unlimited big winner and hubby of vlogger Kryz Uy, who has been the pinnacle of “relationship goals” has recently been under fire for a controversial remark he had uttered in one of the recent episodes of their #SKYPodcast.
In case you missed it, the comment Slater said was in response to a question sent to the couple by a concerned asker. The letter-sender shared with the couple that her boyfriend recently admitted that he fantasizes about other women and that he had group chats with his friends about it, as the couple often accepted queries from their listeners to which they give their advice or answers.
In the now-deleted podcast episode which aired last May 8, Slater had a surprising answer. He actually said that what her boyfriend admitted to was “very very normal”. His answer surprised not only their longtime supporters but the Internet as well, as the couple was an inspiration to many for seemingly having a “green flag” relationship.
To quote, Slater said “yung mga groups na mga nagsi-send ng mga photos of girls and fantasizing over it, it’s normal! It’s very very normal. We have a lot of chatgroups with friends not naman necessarily dedicated to that… Let’s say for example you have a group of 10 friends, merong dalawa or tatlong tao na mahilig mag-send ng mga ganyan and may mga comment pa.. parang siyemper ikaw as part of that group, sakyan mo lang.”
Slater has since then addressed his mistake and sincerely apologized for the comment he uttered in their latest podcast episode posted just two days ago.
He revealed that it had been “an eye-opening few days.” The lifestyle vlogger and engineer even admitted that seeing the articles didn’t make him angry, instead, it made him feel ashamed. “When I read the articles, I don’t feel angry. I feel ashamed na parang naquo-quote ako ng ganyan.” He added, “It’s a learning experience for me, especially given the platform that we have.”
“Big eye-opener for me. I truly, truly, do apologize. My heart of hearts, hindi talaga ako pro objectifying women.”
Big props to Slater for admitting his mistake and showing accountability, as many influencers with big platforms and following these days fail to do so. However, it is important to note that while Slater suffered the brunt of his controversial answer, this instance opened a very necessary dialogue on inherently misogynistic and objectifying thoughts.
What the Internet thinks
The Internet believes it is not only Slater that deserves to be called out. In fact, his wife Kryz, not disagreeing with his stand, actually proves that misogyny can come from women, too. Many also noted that Kryz saying “To protect my peace, I don’t look at your group chat” in response to what her husband said, is actually a behavior that allows and enables men to continue acting this way.
kryz uy gaslighting herself na best husband si slater young by saying "to protect my peace, i don't look at your groupchat" "it's okay because you don't do anything about it" watch ur man act on his desires and u'll see.
— 𝓜 (@prettiestmorena) May 14, 2023
More than what Slater said sa podcast episode nila, I feel sorry for Kryz Uy kasi ang uncomfy ng mga sinasabi ng asawa mo beside you?? To the point na sinabi na lang nya she doesn't check his phone—na dapat naman talaga pero alam mo talagang "to protect her peace". 🥲
— Bea #NeverAgain (@btrzkji) May 13, 2023
Kryz Uy is well aware of her husband's tendencies. She's gaslighting herself into believing she has the best husband in the whole world. That's what they give me when I watched clips from their poscasts.
— 🌷NAKITA SI YERI AT SEULGI SA MOA💜💛 (@themilkuyu) May 13, 2023
Because it may be hard to admit but what Slater said is true. It is common, despite how disgusting it is.
Not once, but countless times have women spoken up about being objectified by men in group chats. But if women simply choose to turn a blind eye to this behavior for their “peace” is concerning as this only fosters and allows men to continue to act this barbarically.
Furthermore, some even pointed out that the podcast episode even being greenlit for posting is problematic in itself as podcasts usually go through editing, so if they haven’t seen how Slater’s comment was problematic then to the point they would even post the episode, poses an even bigger problem. It means they either overlooked it, or they didn’t find an issue with his statement at all.
my take on the situation is,, podcasts (especially big productions) have an entire team to manage hosts, invite guests, pitch episodes, and edit material. it's disappointing to know that this was either entirely overlooked or they didn't find problem with the material at all.
— aly! ଘ(*. .)੭ (@theblessedbhie) May 15, 2023
This just proves how normalized, despite how wrong, this damaging behavior is and how this behavior is actually harmful to women, and even triggering to survivors of sexual abuse and objectification.
Slater’s mindset encourages and empowers sexual predators while doing the opposite for women and girls. His words are also invalidating of, and triggering to, victim-survivors of online and image-based harassment.
This content is dangerous. We should not take this sitting down.
— Ash Presto 💜 (@sosyolohija) May 13, 2023
Just because it is common, doesn’t mean it should be normalized. Every time we see men do this, calling them out is equally as important because it is more than about the time we stop excusing this disgusting behavior just because “boys will be boys.”
Boys can be disgusting, but they don’t have to be.
banner: (L) kryzzzie / instagram, (R) skypodcast / youtube