Our generation is scared of the word ‘Love’. Maybe that fear is borne out of confusion. Some say one should wait three weeks before saying ‘I love you’. Others would argue it should be more.
The word gets thoroughly worshipped in everything – movies, songs and in daily life. We sing it, we quote, we put it on a pedestal.
But even then, we sometimes treat it like dirt. When we’re single, we look for it. When it comes knocking at our door, we dismiss it. We have all these unreasonable criteria, checklists, and must-haves.
‘Love’, it seems, is both holy and garbage.
No one knows what ‘Love’ truly means.
And even then, the people who do struggle to put it into words.
Some say, your ‘heart skips a beat’ and you ‘feel butterflies every time you see them’. Others refute that the ‘butterflies’ are just infatuation, nothing more. Even Halsey said that ‘the warning signs’ could feel as such.
The definition of ‘Love’ has been blurred further by the fact that you could meet and talk to multiple people at once, thanks to the Internet. Nowadays, it’s so easy to ‘dispose’ of people (ghosting, much?). Is it really possible to fall for someone through a screen?
But even with all of the confusion that leads you to feel that love is no longer genuine, you will find someone. I certainly did.
When you find that someone, you’ll be bewildered.
A person so different, that you’ll ask yourself ‘The fuck just happened?’. Your usual tricks don’t work. They subvert everything society has taught you so far.
Even the walls that have protected you from heartbreak or prevented you from opening up to other people are shattered.
Your friends will have noticed something different as well. You keep mentioning this person to them even if you continuously say that ‘commitment sucks’. You tell your parents that you’re going out with a ‘friend’ that you met in school or at work.
You make one last ditch effort to convince yourself that this person is just as disposable as the rest. After all, if there’s anything your past has taught you, it’s that it’s nerve-wracking to be vulnerable.
You’re so used to being alone, that seeing yourself think of someone this way, wishing that they would feel the same mushy feelings, scares you.
But in spite of all the fears, you give in. You reveal yourself and your flaws – abandonment issues, your childhood traumas, your anxieties – despite knowing that they could just up and leave, just like the others.
But they don’t.
That’s when you realize that all of the pain that came before was worth it, since you finally found your person.
Finally, you understand what ‘Love’ means.
Banner credit: Marx Fidel