Living together before marriage is an absolute must

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First thing’s first, following your religion and forcing other people to follow your faith are two very different things. 

The Philippines is predominantly Catholic, which means there’s a high probability you were baptized and shaped into the “good Catholic Filipino citizen” your parents always wanted.

But times have changed, and so has society, which means we have to adapt too. One contentious topic is the idea of living together before marriage (and, in essence, pre-marital sex).

@morghannoelle

oop what yall think #marriage #moveintogether #relationships

♬ original sound – 🌈Your✊🏿Safe✊🏾Place✊🏽

Living together before marriage should be a completely normal and healthy thing. It improves your communication with your partner by making sure you’re both able to tackle essential decisions and conversations that might cause more problems down the road if you immediately get married. 

Filipinos have always painted cohabitants in a bad light, often dictated by their personal, religious, or cultural beliefs. Nothing’s wrong with holding your values close to your chest. If you choose to pursue marriage before living together due to your beliefs, then you’re free to do so. 

But remember that other people have their own beliefs that they also choose to follow. 

Knowing your partner well

In this time and age, I can’t even imagine not being able to know if my significant other is a decent “roommate.” 

Imagine already being legally married and learning that your partner leaves dirty underwear all over the floor, doesn’t do dishes, leaves the toilet seat up, and can’t even remember to turn off the stove before going out? I’d go insane.

Knowing your partner in a physical and emotional sense is no longer enough. You must consider the chemistry between yourself and your partner in a domestic setup.

@wemetatacme

You gotta do it! #wemetatacme #datingpodcast #datingadvice #livingtogether #marriage #engagement

♬ original sound – wemetatacme

 

Now let’s get into the serious stuff: finances. For starters, you need to know that your partner can financially support you (and themselves!). Why would you rush into marriage if you’re still struggling financially?

Let’s be honest. Everybody wants to live independently, but it’s more complicated than you think. Your financial situation with your partner will matter a lot.

The mental aspect

Another benefit of this is seeing your partner’s behavior closely. Do they quickly get pissed off or maybe even abusive? Your partner’s attitude might change when living under one roof. 

Clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, comments that “moving in means committing to the good and bad in each other and your relationship. By living together before marriage, you are committing to show up and stay together on the good and bad days.”

She also stresses the importance for each partner to experience a range of independency and peer living situations before committing to marriage.

@ileana.justine

We lived together for 6 years before getting married! #newlyweds #newlywed #justmarried #justmarriedcouple #newlywedcouple

♬ original sound – Mamá Latina

The concept of living together is a controversial and taboo topic that also happens to be a need.

Get married first; it’s embarrassing for other people to see you live together without being legally married.” NOPE! Erase that mindset. 

Know and love your partner in all ways before committing to an irreversible marriage. In this day and age, your relationship should be your business, not your parents’, titas and titos, or the marites neighbor that you have. 

Let’s be progressive.

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