*The following are based on the author’s own experiences*
I could already hear the resounding ‘duh’ when I say that straight men and gays are worlds apart in just about everything: moods, social preferences, brain activity, you name it. Combined with the challenges that society’s toxic mindset and judgemental eyes bring, it is rare to see the two mesh beyond acquaintances and into a solid platonic relationship.
However, the existence of a rift doesn’t mean there’s an absence of respect. In fact, gay men possess a couple of perks that straight guys are secretly jealous of – even if our pa-macho selves would be the last ones to admit it.
Here are some of them.
The freedom to pursue things that aren’t ‘guy stuff’
‘That’s gay’ is a term often used for pursuits outside of basketball, action films, and songs not sung by a male artist. Voicing your love for anything else would garner side glances and smirks, as if diversity is a concept that escapes heteros. Going against the norm is a privilege reserved for queers, apparently.
Look, it’s already 2020. People have since grown to become so much more than the stereotypes placed upon them by their sexual orientation. If your bro wants to watch ‘Love Actually’ on repeat or rock out to Taylor Swift, then let him be. ‘Lover’ is a bop, after all.
The freedom to be emotional
Now, I’m not saying men are robots. We vent and confide to our closest buddies in our most personal moments. We’re no strangers to being human. But outside of the circle, men have little to zero wiggle room when it comes to their emotions.
Fathers can’t break down in front of their families in times of trouble, or else the rest of the household breaks too. A woman who cries looks sympathetic, but a man who does is seen as someone who has lost control, as masculinity preaches that feelings should be reserved and kept in check.
Vulnerability, then, is a terrifying concept for men. It can also be a disturbing sight for those around them because of its unfamiliarity. And when you’re at your lowest, being unable to fully express yourself could prove to be just too much.
Queers, on the other hand, have no such restrictions. They aren’t bound by masculinity’s unreasonable standards, so they can just let all the negativity loose without the fear of being judged. It’s a healthier and more sensible way to live.
The freedom to be friends with women (without being called ‘malandi’)
As someone who’s inner circle is 95% female, I’ve had more than my fair share of people who seem unable to grasp the idea of platonic relationships. They will ALWAYS insist that it’ll inevitably end up in dating or worse, I’m a guy who’s simply softening up its ‘prey’ for the ‘kill’ (seriously, WTF).
Contrary to popular belief, men don’t intend to bang everything that moves, people. It’s a shame that such a stigma exists, as the best bromances I’ve ever had have been with women. Not only are they great wingmen, but their unique perspectives make them excellent vent buddies and once-in-a-lifetime companions.
Queers, at least with women, don’t have to risk being labeled as unfaithful or ‘malandi’. They can be friends with anyone – which is always a cool luxury to have.
So even if straight guys and gay men are completely different people, there are times when we wish the world could see us as our beloved counterparts – not as the generic ‘machismo’ stereotypes, but as individuals that are just as crazily unique and different from one another.
Oh, and in case you’re looking for a safe space to just be yourself, you can check out RuPaul’s Drag Race Werq the World tour happening on Feb 29 at the Araneta Coliseum. Anyone could be anything at the biggest drag show event in the world, brought to you by We The Pvblic and our media partner, GMA. Get your tickets here.
Banner credit: Marx Fidel