You left at the most inconvenient time.
Yes, let’s talk about convenience. It’s not that I loved you because you were convenient but because you left me at a time that I thought you weren’t going to leave at all. I thought I was up there with you and with one stupid sentence, I fell. The pain still fresh as if I’ve been hitting the ground and haven’t been stopping since.
It’s inconvenient because I have a hard time sleeping then waking up in the morning. You left me when I was vulnerable and as much as that’s unforgivable, I can’t take away the fact that I loved you. I stare blankly at spaces that project replays of your promises. The way you looked at me and whispered the most silly and believable things. The way you made poems out of thin air. It’s now inconvenient.
But that’s okay.
Because I had the best time. To be loved and locked in an isolated world with just us. We built our lives on the greenest grass and the whitest of all snow. The sun danced with the moon and we laid back to watch because our world allowed it.
Even if you promised you wouldn’t leave.
You promised everything. You promised using shores and oceans as metaphors and practically ruining the image of these when you broke me. We made up words and glimpses that we can only understand. The promise of forever, however cliché it may be, was true to me and I believed it.
It hurts but imagining you and me is surprisingly the only thing that makes it better. Aside from the alcohol that I run to (that honestly doesn’t actually help now).
It’ll take a while to forget your promises.
Even now you’re too good to blame.
We both had our flaws. We loved so hard and fought like crazy. It was crazy good and it was hell, all at the same time. I thought we were happy and you made me feel like it. This is why it hurts.
And after all of these, I know that I would have never wanted to miss out on you. That I wouldn’t turn back time to choose somebody else. Because until now, I would pick you. I would still go with you.
I’ll move on but I know that you and I might have been perfect together but the world wasn’t with us. The wrong timing. The wrong place. Whatever it was. I still thank you.